what i want from this, is to learn to let go. [entries|friends|calendar] liyana ; LYER info - recent - friends - hotmail [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

MOVED. [ April 25th, 2007 @ 10:49pm ] MOVED TO sunshinestreaks

#149 vday celebrations [ February 15th, 2007 @ 12:25am ] [ mood | cheerful ] so my valentine's day was pretty awesome. had a good day exchanging gifts in school. and also with the boyfriend. nic gave me the sweetest present everrr, a pretty red box with some pretty meaningful stuff in 'em. thank you baby, mwah! :) so yesss, i still ought to post my dubai photos, first month dinner with nic, russell's + dhiban's chalet and valentines!  soon soon! i promise, this weekend. when, im left alone whilst my munjen boyfriend, happy pillys and friends go cny visiting! hmph. night world!

#148 [ February 7th, 2007 @ 12:13am ] my wisdom tooth's killing me, and so are the cramps. ive been turning to food,so much so that even a project-mate mentioned that i was getting "rounder". oh goodness me. do i hear the word "gym" and "cardio" calling out to me? these next few weeks aren't gonna be smooth sailing as it is.its laden with tests, projects and not to mention i'll be working both saturdays and sundays. im just waiting for chinese new year to come, so i can have a short break. well deserved? that i doubt. i'd rather be back in dubai than being stuck here. shopping, good food (think: cinnabons, good pasta, steak, tempura), and the fact that im not held down by any obligations whatsoever. ive been missing people. some of which, who DONT deserved to be missed at all. harsh,yes. but honestly, you dont seem to know who your true friends are. making half hearted attempts to save what we thought might be a lasting friendship. its been all talk, but no action on your part. its a wonder to even receive a short text from you these days. dont use the "im busy" excuse, because that excuse has been used on far too many occasions. from now onwards, i wont even bother so as to text or give you a call. usually you dont reply to the texts sent, neither do you pick up your calls. we've come a long way, and i love you to death. its a pity you dont feel the same way to. my bestest socialite is finally moving back to the near east. like finally bitch. ive missed you like truckloads. *bimbo moment* no more lepaking alone at the void deck eh elf? can't wait for the many starbucks sessions we're gonna have. ive missed that. its funny how we meet so many different people in our lives, but we only need a handful of 'em to be content. as long as we know who our true friends are, its not too hard to be.

#147 [ February 1st, 2007 @ 11:34pm ] have you ever felt, as though it was wrong to be happy?to want to be able to count your blessings, but at the same time worry about other people's feelings?  things are different nowadays,and we all know that. the strain of having to salvage this friendship so precious, is beginning to get to me. please try to put yourself in my shoes' and vice versa. because we can't keep on being so selfish and thinking about ourselves all the time, and at the same time hurt people dear to you. * and you. you, the one with the neverending promises.and no, im not asking for a rebuttal entry on your journal. but i dont know how to put it across you. you, yourself made that promise. but you never followed up, on it. im not asking for much.i know you have your other things to do, but seriously. please stop making promises/engagements with no real intention of it ever occurring. i tried not to let your flaky-ness affect me so much, but its not so easy. thats why i never expected anything much from you, lest you feel pressured into this "friendship". the least you could do, is to show up when we're supposed to meet.

#146 [ February 1st, 2007 @ 12:00am ] happy 1st baby, :) mwah

#146 [ January 27th, 2007 @ 11:06pm ] i knew id get upset, going through the past. but i still did. why, you ask. beats me. that just how i work i suppose. i thrive on pain, and thats what keeps me going on. if pain doesnt come knocking on my door, i go knocking on pain's door itself. * roar. ugly betty's taking forever to load. dont talk to me about sex and the city, that takes even a longer time to load. photobucket's being a bitch and thus im rendered unable to post pictures from lisha's birthday dinner last night. i hope you had a swell of a time love. i love you, and im sure you know that already. i was the first to wish her happy birthday and was also the first to wish her happy bekated birthday. then, i made sujana and lolly follow suit in wishing her happy belated. hahs, im corny like that. today, i spent my evening napping over at nic's. given a choice, i wouldnt have woken up when i did. its nice to find that special someone when you wake up. albeit all grumpy and all.( i am not a morning person and i wake up grumpy regardless of the time). here's to many more occasions where i find you next to me when i wake up :) right this has got to be one of the most boring entries everrr. another one, to add to the ever growing collection.yay! ugly betty's all reaady, :)

#145 [ January 22nd, 2007 @ 11:52pm ]

#144- sputnik sweetheart [ January 20th, 2007 @ 4:37am ] thank you for supper earlier on baby. i doubt ill be getting much sleep today. far too many things going through my head, and no. i dont wish to discuss it any further. thank you very much. so its just going to be me, my sputnik sweetheart and my hot chocolate+marshmellows. ill probably attempt to sleep, by crying. havent cried myself to sleep, in a very very long time. ran out of reasons to, but now all the more i do. good nighties world, or rather good morning. hope you guys are better off than me.

#143 - birdcage girl. [ January 20th, 2007 @ 3:57am ] so basically that rather sums it all up, how im feeling currently. i feel as though, im being scruntinized so intently. so intently that im starting to suffocate. i seem to be unable to live up to certain people's expectations, and the sad thing is. these are the people i hold dear to my heart. people im related to, by blood. not just some random acquaintance. no more updates, or rather public ones anytime soon. because i dont want to be judged based on my lifestyle choices. i really dont, because you never really took the time to know what type of a person i am. so please, dont be too quick in making judgements. maybe to some of you, im not living up to the expectations set for me. and that i should stop whatever nonsense ive been up to. and i've run out of excuses. this is my life, and i make my own decisions. trust me, i am not the sort easily swayed by others. there. ive run out of things to say. and im too tired to. maybe to you, im not living up to your expectations of me being an only daughter. thats just too bad, if you think you can do a better job. why not, you replace me? im tired, and i have a lot of shit going on for me. school-wise, social-wise. i dont need the additional shit, family-wise. i really do not have the energy to to deal with it. not now, maybe never. im a single being, there's only so much i can do. try being in my shoes, my position. see whether you can do a better job. there's only so much i can, and believe me. ive tried helping her out. how do i help someone who does not want to be helped in the first place?

#142 we go blind when we've needed to see [ January 11th, 2007 @ 12:35am ] because ive never felt this helpless, for a very long time coming. this is what happens, when eveything just unloads itself one after another. i need you my bangbanggf. where art thou? :(

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